Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Proud To Take A Step Back

The end of the school year in Argentina arrived, which means I am technically not a junior anymore. In 4 months, I am going to walk through that door, knowing that it is the last first day of school ever.

Seeing pictures of the Seniors graduating and doing all of the cool things that they do in my school, make me stick to my decision of going back, and having the time of my life. Partying, enjoying life, having fun, making trouble, breaking out, being with my friends, and just being a teenager for the last year.

There are gonna be times where I am going to wonder why the hell I went back, but I'm sure that at the end, it is going to be worth it. My biggest fear about going back to Argentina is that I came to America to become true my dream of being an actress, and eventually, a director, and I feel that by going back and I making a step backwards. Like I am giving up those dreams for just a year with my friends.

But it is not just a year with my friends. It is also the memories. Memories that will stay with me forever. It is the year where I can let it all go. It is being a Senior. Enjoying school, because it will never happen again. It is going out to nightclubs every single weekend and getting completely drunk just for the hell of it. It is doing stupid things and laughing for no reason.

I need to understand that 2012 it is not the end of the world. It is just the end of a chapter in my life, and the beginning of a new one. I am dedicated to live my dreams next chapter, in the future, because there is still a lot of time ahead; I am just a kid. I need to learn how to wait, be patient, and enjoy what I have now. And life is giving me this chance of doing something that I will never regret, and that is now or never. I have my whole life to go to Europe, go to college, improve my knowledge in directing and producing, going to acting classes, moving to LA, etc etc etc. But all I have right now, is the last year of my youth. I always say I want to be forever young, but... it is stupid to say that if I never actually enjoyed being young because I always worried too much about the future, and planned to many things that never really happen.

So for the first time in my life, I am willing to dream with those normal things that are supposed to happen to teenagers. I am going to look forward to school, enjoy the annoying teachers, laugh with my friends, and just be 17 (my birthday is next March).

I am happy with the decision I made. I might be taking the easy way, I might be giving up, I might not be fighting with all I have, but I know that in the end, I am not going to regret it. And most important, why do I have to choose between my dreams and my Senior year when I can have both, one a time?


PS: Sometimes you have to take a half step back to take two forward, just like people who run track take a few steps backwards in order to gain speed and then advance 1000 steps forward til they reach the finish line. 

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