Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Letter to Jake

I am finally back. After saying goodbye and after awkward conversations on line, I am here. I think I had been waiting for this moment since the day I left, because even if I deny it and even if I don't believe it, you were a big deal for me. I never showed anything, I know. And I do not think it was a personal thing, but that's just who I am, I don't really show it when I care about someone because I am too scared of getting corny and cheesy and gross. I always blamed you for leaving without even a kiss, I mean, how come a guy like you couldn't even get a hug from me? I am not easy, but I am not that hard either. But the truth is, it was sort of my fault too. I was cold, and I had too many things in my mind, I was going through a weird time, I was moving to another country, and everything was changing in my life, so I couldn't really pay attention to you because let's be honest: there was no hope.

The thing is... now I am starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, you were not just playing with me like you probably do with many other girls. Maybe what you felt was real. Maybe you were just a guy trying to get the girl he liked, and eventually you found out it was not going to be as easy as you were used to. And even though it is sort of over now I guess, I do appreciate the fact that you didn't forget me. I haven't talked to you for a while, and I am sure you are over me now, just like I am over you, but to be honest, I would like to see you. I think some things are getting sort of complicated in my mind, because once again, I am going through some weird changes. You know, moving back to my old life brings me back to you so I get confused. Not in a romantic way I guess, but just the fact that you were a big part of my life and I can't help to wonder how you are doing. Maybe you don't care about me anymore, but I do care about you. You might be dating someone else, I don't know, and I might be interested in someone else too, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to hug you and tell you thanks for taking me seriously, for waiting for me until the day I left and for staying in touch. I admit I was a bitch when I asked you if british guys were hot when you went to England, and I was a bitch for never talking to you on BBM after you told me to just say hi whenever I was bored. I was just trying to make myself feel better, and I also didn't want to get confussed, because I am a lightweight, one single word can make my whole world shake, and I couldn't handle it 10.000 km away from you.

And yes, time went by, and we never talked again. Now I don't even know how you are doing, and you probably don't even know I am back. But if I ever see you again, I'm going to look at you in the eyes and remember all of those months that I waited for you, all of the tears that I cried for you, and all of the times you made me smile, because you did know how to make me happy.

So I guess I'll see you soon, and if I don't, I just wish you the best, and once again, thank you.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Will the Chinese Trump the US Intel Initiative?

Facebook is saving the USGOV a lot of money, and that's a good thing. The news that Congress has voted to continue funding it is perhaps the only thing that Congress can put in their "plus" column in otherwise dismal performance. The "Twitter Initiative" is an example of a failure and one can't help but wonder whether or not it will continue to exist.
"400 billion tweets and not one bit of useful information."
However the danger of the new Chinese network WANBEE can't be overstated. (link here) and then check out what Facebook users are saying about it here: https://www.facebook.com/wanbeeorg 

Will the Worker's Paradise be able to lure people worldwide away from the American program after so much effort has been put into it?

The Chinese do have one ringing endorsement:

The Chinese don't seem to be as subtle as the Americans.  Submit your secret here and only time will tell whether or not they manage to pull ahead in the world of spy vs spy.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Home Sweet Home

So I'm here, laying in my bed in Argentina. I can't believe it, but at the same time, it feels like I have never left.

So today when I arrived the first two persons I saw were my best friends Jousefa and Val. Then my mom and my sisters, then my grandfather, and then my step dad. Even though I was not very excited when I was Chile, when I saw them all I realized why I came back.

Then we went home, we talked for a while, and with my friends and my mom we unpacked. And then, I did something that I had been waiting for, for a long, long time: GO TO THE MALL WALKING!!!!! I lived in New Jersey, just highways, no sidewalks. I had to go everywhere by car, and my friends were not the kinf of people that like to go out all the time, so I basically lived inside my house and school, no social life. Now I finally got to go out like I used to do before I went to New Jersey. And it is summer here, so I could just wear a pair of shorts and a shirt, it was beautiful.

I do miss NJ though, and everybody tells me how much I've learned and grown, which is amazing, because that was my main goal.

So anyway, I'm here, after all I have been through.

In Gov We Trust

The State of the Union Address would have been boring to watch if it hadn't been so infuriatingly empty of meaning and divisive; while all the time attempting to sound profound to people with limited insight and education.

The President said that he'd try an accelerate his agenda (in the next four years, if elected). What is that agenda, how does it play out, and who will pay for it?

Are you better off now than you were four years ago? If you are, you're likely the recipient of some form of government largess. That's not what built the country. However with 50% of the nation not paying any income taxes, the strident cry to tax those who do pay - at a higher rate, rings true to many Americans who want to keep their protected status. 

Obama is an unabashed socialist who feels that all justice is reposed in the government. He's a product of the corrupt Chicago political machine where every spare dime ends up in a political pocket. And he wants four more (dismal) years in office for he and his cronies.


So I'm writing from Chile. The hardest part (saying goodbye) is finally over. I am proud of myself because I didn't cry, but I think I'm still not aware of what's going on. My mind just can't understand that I will never go to my high school again, I'm never going to see the people I've met in a long time, I'm not going to be in my house anymore, and most important, I'm not going to see my American family until December, I don't know how I'm going to survive without seeing my sisters.

Thinking about the fact that I'm gonna be in Argentina in three hours doesn't excite me thaaaaaaat much, I don't know why. I feel weird, and I have been away for so long that it feels like I'm going to an unknown place, or maybe I know it too much, which is why it is not exciting.

It feels so surreal. That's the only word that can describe this whole situation.

Well, hugs and kisses from Santiago - Chile. 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I feel lonely, like nobody understand what I'm going through, and nobody even makes an effort to do so.

Today (Last Day Of School)

So today was my official last day of school in SPFHS. Woow.

The first three periods were not sad at all, I just couldn't believe I was not going to be there anymore. I feel like I didn't get emotional or anything because I haven't really bonded with those teachers and I didn't really have friends in those classes. But then gym came, which was one of my favorite classes because of how small it was. I seriously loved everyone in that class, and I discovered how much I like playing volleyball, it was so much fun.

Lunch was also sad, because it was the last time I saw the people in my table, and they have been my friends since the very beginning.

Astronomy, Spanish, and Italian were really, really sad. My teachers really made me feel special and they showed me how much they appreciate me. In Spanish, the teacher and my classmates recorded a video saying why they are going to miss me and it was the cutest thing.

Then the bell rang, and I had to say goodbye to that high school. The one I hated so much, but ended up loving. I had to take all of the things out of the locker and just walk away.

I know I didn't make a change in anybody's life in that school. I came out of nowhere from another country, and then I randomly left. I didn't make any kind of impact or anything. But nobody in that school can imagine how much they meant to me. Even the people that I've never talked to. Each hallway, each room, each class, each teacher, each person, they all made a change in my life. And I will never forget the mornings that I spent in that school with all of them.


Some people have been asking me where I am moving and why. So for the ones that read my blog but don't really understand what's going on I'll make it easy: I am from Argentina, I lived there my entire life. My dad and his family are Americans and when he divorced my mom he came back to his country, so when I was 15 I decided to come to live with him for a while to be with him, his wife, and my sisters, and also to study abroad, which was something I always wanted to do. So lived here for around a year and a half. I had my ups and downs but it was definitely the best thing that happened in my whole life. Since this is my house, I mean, my dad's house, which is sort of the same, I had the chance to decide when I wanted to go back to Argentina, and I even had the chance to stay here forever (that's the amazing thing about having two homes in different countries). I was supposed to go back in July but I ended up staying 6 more months because I felt like a year was not enough. Now it is time to go back (tomorrow!!), and that's why I'm so stressed out and with so many mixed emotions and feelings. I am excited to get my old life back, but at the same time leaving everything I have here in the States is really, really hard.

Thank you for reading my blog, it means a lot to me that many of you actually comment and email me to give me advices or to tell me that you feel related to the things I write. Writing about my experience and getting to interact with other readers was definitely one of the best things. At the beginning this was supposed to be a blog about my year in the States, but it ended up being some kind or journal, so I'll keep blogging no matter where I am :)

Sunday, January 22, 2012

but the real question is... why do I want his attention so bad, if I don't really want h i m ?

Mona Lisa Smile

There are movies that entertain you, movies that make you laugh, movies that make you cry, movies that make you remember some memories, movies that you don't like... and there are some other movies that can change your perspective on certain things and can get to your soul, and those are the type of movies I like to write about.

This was a Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts weekend, so I watched "Love Actually", "Notting Hill", and "Mona Lisa Smile". All good movies, I sort of cried with the three of them, but the only one that really got me was the one I've just finished, "Mona Lisa Smile". I don't know if it can make it to my favorite movies, but it definitely makes it to one of the best movies I've ever seen, which is a completely different thing, I mean, the movie Crossroads, starring Britney Spears, is one of my favorite movies, but one of the worst Hollywood movies ever. The thing is, this movie really, really caught me.

If you haven't watched it, it takes place back in the 50's, the decade where stereotypes were created: men were meant to go to work every morning, and women were meant to take care of the house. A decade where the country was in fear of an atomic bomb being dropped by the Soviets. A decade of discrimination and racism. And sadly, a decade that was far away from revolution and change, two things that finally came in the 60's and later.

"Mona Lisa Smile" is about a woman, Katherine Watson, who gets a job at one of the best universities for women to teach "Art History" (something that I would like to do in some other life). She gets to teach to all of these girls who are brain washed by society, and are waiting for the first rich man to come and propose to them. Katherine comes with her feminist ideals and helps them to look at life with different eyes, letting them know how much they are worth it, encouraging them to be better, to pursue their dreams, to believe in themselves, to stop depending on a man, and to be independent. The movie is basically about how hard it is for them to understand this new perspective that Mrs. Watson is trying to show them. It is an amazing message that I wish women could have had back in the 50's.

"I thought I was headed to a place that would turn out tomorrow's leaders, not their wives!" - Katherine Watson 

But the idea of being independent is not shown only through the ideas of marriage and society. What I love the most about the movie was the respect that Katherine Watson has for her own self. At the end of the movie, the board of education of the school decides to call her back for the next school year, but they do not give her the freedom to give her message to her students, and the only way they are going to let her teach again in that school is by controlling her classes. Even though teaching in that school is her dream, she declines the offer, because she stays true to herself, to her beliefs, and to her biggest goal, which is to make a change. She gives up her dream for that simple goal, and she quits.

That reminded me of myself. I realized that right now, I am quitting my dream. I am on the right track that could lead me to everything I've ever wanted, but something tells me that there is something wrong with it. You know, someday I would like to get to the top, doesn't matter what I end up doing in college, whatever I decide, I want to be the best at it. Being in the USA means that I could go to a really good university, improve my English skills, improve my talent is certain things, meet the right people that could help me, and do the right things that could lead me to where I want to go. But there is something missing: freedom and happiness. I figured that I want nothing if I don't have the freedom to do whatever I want with it, and if I am not able to enjoy my way to the top, so I decided to quit my dream of being in the States, go back to the place where I know I'm going to have a good time, and take another way. At the end, my goal is the same one: be good at whatever I decide to do. I am just taking another road. It can be shorter or it can be longer, but I am taking the road that is not going to just take me where I want to go, but it is also going to make me happy, because happiness is not a destination, it is journey. Mrs Watson ended up going to Europe, not teaching where she wanted to teach, but at the end of the day, she did make a change anyway.

"Dear Betty, I came to Wellesley because I wanted to make a difference. But to change for others is to lie to yourself. My teacher, Katherine Watson, lived by her own definition and would not compromise that, not even for Wellesley. I dedicate this, my last editorial, to an extraordinary woman, who lived by example and compelled us all to see the world through new eyes. By the time you read this, she'll be sailing to Europe, where I know she'll find new walls to break down, and new ideas to replace them with. I've heard her called a quitter for leaving and aimless wanderer. But not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image. I'll never forget you" - Betty Warren

If you are wondering, the name of the movie "Mona Lisa Smile" is referred to looking happiness and smiling even when you are not happy at all. One of the characters, Betty, refers to this painting when she is talking to her mom about her husband, trying to let her know that just because she seems happy, deep inside, she's not, just like the Mona Lisa, who is smiling, but how do we know if she is really happy? How do we know she is not hiding any kind of sadness behind that smile?

Betty: Look at this, mother. She's smiling. Is she happy?
Mrs. Warren:The important thing is not to tell anyone.
Betty:She looks happy, so what does it matter? 

So that's it. This movie made me cry, smile, and learn a little bit more about myself and my decisions. And of course, it showed me once again, that women can do it all, the sky is the limit, and that education and experience can lead you wherever you want to go.

Out Of Control

So I'm leaving in three days. My life is a mess right now. First of all I'm stressed out and I feel lost because of the fact that I am moving to another country and that just makes me feel weird. Then I had to say goodbye to my whole family today, which was sad. Third, I still haven't packed yet. Fourth, I am tired, physically tired and I know it is because of how stressed out I am. Fifth, I've just talked to my mom and she didn't even ask me how I'm feeling about it and she was in some sort of bad mood. Sixth, I needed to talk to my dad about some school papers, and some other things that I need to get done before I leave and he was too busy playing a computer game with friends, and he told me leave the papers in the kitchen, that he was going to take care of them later, he pretty much kicked me out of his room. Seventh, my friends have no clue how this whole experience feels, and all they talk about is what we are going to do when I get there (even though it is a couple of days from today, I'm still on the other side of the world, I couldn't care less what I'm going to do when I get there, I'll see later). Eight, I need to talk to someone about all of these weird feelings, and nobody seems to care or understand. Ninth, my room is a mess, and that makes me feel even crazier. Tenth, my hair a is mess because I didn't put a special cream after shower, so I need to get it done before I go to bed, and that's gonna take me at least 30 minutes. Eleventh, I am still going to school until Tuesday, and I have some sort of quiz in math tomorrow. twelfth, before I leave I gotta go to the doctor and send my Argentinian exams. Thirteenth, on Tuesday is my dad's bday and I still haven't got him a card. Fourteenth, I need to go to the mall to Sephora to buy make up that I can't get in Argentina.

Overall, everything is out of control right now, and I don't know where to start to fix everything. I love traveling, but I hate this period of saying goodbye, packing, enjoying my last days, and those things. It stresses me out, and it is really sad for me to handle it alone. This time I promised myself to be strong, because this is the life I got, and it is divided in two whether I like it or not. I'm always going to have to say goodbye to one part of my family in order to say hello to the other part since my parents live in two different hemispheres, so I just need to get over that and stop crying every time I leave the States or Argentina, other wise I'm going to end up emotionally destroyed.

So well, I wish I could just fall asleep and wake up next week in Argentina. No more packing, no more goodbyes, no more hellos, just wake up in my normal life in Argentina because this is stressful as hell.

Well, I need to start putting my life together so goodnight.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Selena Gomez Tattoo

Selena Gomez performed at the Mandalay Bay Event Center at Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas on Saturday night, and it was an apt location.

Justin Bieber Tattoo 2012

During vacation in Hawaii, Justin Bieber spotted with shocking new tattoo. According to a source, the new tattoo under his armpit is written in Hebrew, meaning JESUS.

Tattoo For Girls - Placement Ideas

Now you have choose your body part for tattooing. So it is time to pick an amazing tattoo design. As we said earlier you must remember right kind of tattoo on right kind of body part will work for you. Let's see here we are telling you some great tattoo ideas for girls.

Shooting Star Tattoos
Now a days we are seeing that shooting star is one of the most popular tattoos which are specially popular amongst girls. We think girls and women specially those who have that inner desire to be famous like this design as their tattoo a lot.

Lower Back Fairy Tattoos
Cute fairy tattoo designs are a great choice for tattoos for girls. They are versatile and can be fit into your lower back. So you must think about this design it really will really work for you.

Foot Star Tattoos for Girls
we are seeing that girls are loving to place wonderful stars on their foot and these number of people is increasing day by day.

Lower Back Rose Tattoos
For many years we have seen Rose is becoming one of the best choices as a tattoo design for sexy girls and ladies lower back.

Butterfly Flower Tattoos
As girls you love beautiful things so how can you avoid beautiful butterfly and flower. By combining them you can get a mind blowing tattoo design for you.

Anyway, these are some tattoo recommendation from us. Though there are thousands tattoos for girls available in tattoo world. You can find information about them by following left hand side link. But one thing keep in mind if you have chosen any other design and you are 100% satisfy with it then go with your chosen design. Because your tattoo will be with you rest of whole life. These recommendation will work only if you have not chosen any design.

Miley Cyrus Tattoo - on pink bikini

Miley Cyrus reveals her new tattoo as she parades around in a hot pink bikini
From posing topless for Vanity Fair to indulging in a steamy kiss on-screen, Miley Cyrus appears to be desperate to leave the squeaky-clean Hannah Montana behind.

And judging from these latest pictures, her desire to shake off her fictional alter-ego couldn't be more obvious as she strutted around a Florida hotel yesterday in a teeny bikini while showing off a recently-inked tattoo.

The 17-year-old singer was snapped enjoying a relaxing day with friends at the Fontainebleau Resort on Miami Beach as she lay by the pool having wrapped up her Wonder World world tour the night before.

But it wasn't the skimpy neon pink two-piece that attracted all the attention, but what appeared to be the words 'Just Breathe' tattooed in black ink on her ribcage just under her left breast.

She also appeared to be describing the design to her friend after she was snapped gesturing at it with her hands.

In theory, Miley is not legally allowed to have a tattoo as she is under 18, which is the legal age to be inked in the US.

Demi Lovato Wrist Tattoo

Demi Lovato has two new wrist tattoos that say "Stay" and "Strong" -- and, according to her, she got inked for her fans!

Demi Lovato has found a permanent way of showing her love for her fans!

The Sonny with a Chance star revealed the heartwarming meaning behind her two new “Stay Strong” wrist tattoos in a new video on Cambio. Demi, 18, explains that she was inspired to get the tattoos after she saw the support she was receiving from fans after seeking treatment for emotional and physical issues back in October.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis

Hold up... hold on... don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile, shine on
Don't be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm

'Cause all of the stars have faded away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out


The worst law ever.

Fairy Tattoo Designs

Fairy Tattoo Designs 2013
Fairy tattoo designs Fairies have become a more and more popular choice for tattoo designs. Fairy tattoos often are combined with other design elements such as flowers, butterflies or even a tribal design to create a magical piece of art. Fairy tattoos are often placed on the lower back or lower belly but can be inked anywhere on the body. We at Bullseye are always expanding our collection of fairy tattoo designs so be sure to check back and see our new additions

............................Fairy Tattoo Designs 2013...........................