Tuesday, October 4, 2011
2012 might not be the end of the world, but it is the end of my childhood; it's the end of my life as a school student; the end of 12 years of being with my friends everyday; the end of my life as I know it. So in some way, it is the end of my world, but the beginning of a new one.
Last night I had some kind of emotional breakdown about it. I started remembering all of those good memories, all of the things that I did, the mistakes that I made, the things that I did right... but what made me cry the most were all of those things that I did not do, specially the year that I came here.
When I remember about my sophomore year, all I remember is how amazing it was and how amazing it could had been if I had stayed. I don't regret coming here, but it kills me to know that I was having the time of my life and I did not know it.
I obviously missed my junior year with my friends, but I'm coming back, and out of nowhere, I'm gonna be a senior. It is gonna be my last year to wake up at 7 am and have my mom bringing me a coffee, or wearing that horrible but beautiful uniform, or seeing my friends everyday, or not studying for a test and still pass...
It's funny how we spent those 12 years complaining and hating school, but when it is almost over, we realize how much we love it, because it is all we know, it is our life.
School is beautiful, and time goes by, and one day we wake up realizing that it is over, and that we are never gonna get it back. School it is not a job you quit knowing that you can come back in 20 years, or college, knowing that if you wanna study something else in the future, you can still do it. School is once in a lifetime, and then it leaves us forever. And it is not just school, it is also being young, naive, innocent, and adventurous, and at the same time, being rebellious, dramatic, and bipolar. It is fighting with your best friend knowing that in 10 minutes you are gonna be best friends again, it is constantly making mistakes but getting over them and keep going, it is learning a new lesson everyday, it is pretending to know it all but knowing nothing at all, it is loving a guy with all your heart without even knowing him, it is crying for things that don't even matter, it is complaining about math or geography without knowing how tough the world can be, it is getting obsessed with each little thing, it is partying until 7 am and getting drunk without having to think about anything else, it is dreaming big, it is constantly reinventing ourselves and change our style, it is having our whole life ahead of us... Being a teenager is so many things, and that spirit slowly leaves us along with school once we are 18.
That day is coming soon, the day where I am gonna become an adult without even realizing, so all I wanna do is enjoy this last year.