Wednesday, October 26, 2011

10 Tomatoes

I wrote this long, long ago. I never wanted to publish because I did not want to make public. But now it is in the past; the pain is not there any more, but the lesson will stay forever.

"The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you"

So I felt really bad today about something. Sometimes it is really hard to realize when to let someone go, and when to keep trying. Life is constantly changing. We are constantly changing. One day you have fun with your best friend, the next day you don't even know who she is any more. It hurts really bad, specially when you think people will stay there forever. But sometimes, it is not a fact, it is a hope. We don't know for sure if that person that promises us to be there, will actually be there forever. Forever doesn't exist, even though I wish it did.

So this is my story today: someone disappoints you, and you give them another shot. That person disappoints you again, and you give them another shot. The same person disappoints you once again, and you give them another shot. We basically give second chances because we don't want them to leave; that's why we forgive. But eventually you have to realize that something is not meant to be. When someone changes, it is hard to go back to what that person was before. I don't blame, because we all change, and we are happy with that. We grow up, we improve. But when you see someone changing and hurting people along the way, it is just disappointing. Maybe I could blame distance in my case. 10.000 km away can strengthen many things, but it can also destroy.

The thing is, today something happened, and I found myself in situation where I have to choose between this person, the one that was my best friend for a while, and another person that I love with all my heart, who is also a great friend, but who I obviously did not go through the same experiences with. Somehow, I chose the last one, instead of my best friend, or the one that used to be my best friend. Why? That's what I asked to myself. And I realized that I gotta face it, sometimes, best friends do not last forever. I'm tired to keeping a relationship through distance when I'm the only one that is actually trying to work it out. I deleted a lot of people from my life because of that, and I don't want to do it with his person, because it is just sad, but maybe I should just stop trying, because I don't even know if it's worth it any more.

I'm talking too much about my life, and you probably don't care. Let's go to the point: "Sometimes you just have to give up on people. Chasing after them is a heartache, especially when they don't try to meet u half way".

Now don't get me wrong: I love this person, I always will, and I'll be there, because even though many people leave me, I try not to do the same to them, I try to be there no matter what. But today is the day where I decide to show that I will not give a ten tomatoes, if I won't get at least one in return. Just one, that's all I'm asking for.

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