Friday, December 16, 2011

I Got 99 Problems, But A Guy Ain't One

When a girl likes a boy and he is dating someone else, she tends to hate him and say he is a jerk. Why?

I was just telling my friend that I went to Morgan's girlfriend Facebook profile, and how he wrote all of these cute things on her wall, and how depressing it was to read that, and her response was: "he is a dumb ass". I had million of words in my head to say, but dumb ass or jerk or jackass were not one of those. Why do we blame HIM for our own unhappiness? Yeah, they are not the ones hurting us, it is the situation. It is the FACT that it didn't work out with us, that it was not meant to be, that we were not the right girls, that fate didn't let it happen, that he chose somebody else, that SHE is better than us for him, that HE loves HER, not us. But it is not his fault. It is life in general, because sometimes shit happens. Sometimes, the guy we are madly in love with, is madly in love with someone else. Sometimes, it doesn't work the way we want it to work. Sometimes life can kick is in the ass really hard. And it might happen once, or it might happen ALL THE FUCKING TIME. And what can you do? Blame HIM. You know... I got 99 problems honey, but a guy ain't one. It is not Morgan the problem, it is me. It is the fact that I hate myself for having the chance and not doing anything about it. For having him, right there, in front of me, single, showing me some signs, and letting it go. It is the fact that every time I like a boy, he has to end up dating someone else. It is the fact that I always get guys that I don't want. It is the fact that I am forever alone and the closest thing to a guy that I have is my new One Direction shirt with the names of Liam, Niall, Zayn, Louis, and Harry. And it is obviously the fact that no matter how hard I try to forget about him, it only takes one simple look to fall for him all over again. But none of those facts are Morgan's fault. He is just a sweet guy trying to be a good boyfriend to his girlfriend. And I am just... me. A girl that probably didn't mean anything to me, and never will. Because that's what I usually am to the guys I like: NOTHING. And that's what hurts the most.

Can I live without him? Of course. Life goes on. But nobody can take away that pain of seeing him in the hallways everyday and wondering what could have been, and that maybe, those sweet things in his girlfriend's wall could have been said to me.

But he... he is not a dumb ass. He is great, as far as I can tell. And that makes me feel even worse.

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