The Best Is Yet To Come

This is the first time in my life that I feel like this is really going to be a good year. I feel like many good things are coming and that 2012 is going to surprise me. Let's say 2011 was not as fun as I thought it was going to be, so I'm willing to just enjoy my senior year like it is the last year of my life. I love the fact that it is supposed to be the end of the world because I know it is stupid and not true, but at the same time it is another reason to party like crazy and enjoy every second of this year.

I am going to remember 2012 forever, because I know it is going to me magical and unique, I can feel it. So I'm going to set a goal and a resolution this year, just one. For the first time in my life I am not going to write a list of 101 things I want to do before 2013 or anything like that, all I'm gonna do this year is:

BE HAPPY.

That's it. I wanna be able to do everything I wanna do. Kiss every guy I like. Hug every friend I love. Have long conversations with my mom. Spend time with my family. Learn. Party like crazy. Drink a lot of alcohol and get totally wasted. Just do whatever I wanna do, wherever I wanna do it, whenever I wanna do it, with whoever I wanna do it. Just be happy. Follow my heart. Enjoy. Laugh. Smile. My goal is to be happy and do whatever it takes to achieve it. I think Senior Year is a year where you are actually allowed to behave like crazy, to be irresponsible, to do whatever you want, because it is the last year of my teenager years (even though I am obviously forever young). College comes in 2013 and life changes, you become an adult, you gotta study way harder, everything gets complicated, more responsabilities, blah blah blah.

So like I said a few months ago, the world might not end of 2012, but a part of my life does. Maybe the Mayans were not that wrong, they kinda got it right with me. So I'm going to enjoy. And I know everything is going to go right. And the best thing of all, is that I have never been so sure of my decision of going back. I can hear my heart telling me that it is the right thing, and it makes me feel so, so happy! For the first time I know that not having a plan is exactly what I want. Maybe things are not going the way I planned, but guess what... they are even better. I know going back it is going to be worth it. I feel like if I had chosen to stay, this 2012 wouldn't feel so amazing and so exciting, it would feel like another year to fight for that dream that I don't even know if it's what I really want. Maybe my decision of spending this year with my friends having fun is not going to lead me to success. I know I am not giving up the things I should give up to become who I wanna be, and maybe this decision will influence in my destiny forever, but I don't care. I wanna get to the top knowing that I enjoyed every single minute of the climb, instead of getting there and feeling like I couldn't even enjoy the view.

Live to the fullest. Enjoy this 2012. Have hope and faith. Be happy. Regret nothing. Smile and laugh as much as you can. Give tons of love away even if they don't love you back. Dance under the rain. And remember, life is a climb, and the view is great.

11/1/11

How can I get what I want, if I don't really know what I want?

So today it was 11/1/11 so I wanted to make a wish at 11:11 and when I thought about it, I realized that I don't know what I want.

First of all, girls usually like one boy and they are in love with him. I always say how much I like my boys, but there are 4 of them. I am not supposed to like 4 boys. I am supposed to stick to one. I wish Morgan was single, I wish Sam talked to me, I wish Mason lived closer, and I wish I could see Morocho again. I just cannot stop thinking about them, but at the same time, if I really liked one of them, I would not be crushing over the other ones right? Deep inside I know I want only one. Maybe I am scared to admit that I am still waiting for Morocho, and I know he is never going to come. Or maybe I know Sam will never talk to me, which is why I don't admit he is the one I really want. Or maybe it is Morgan, who is dating someone else. Or maybe it is Mason, but I don't wanna like someone on the other side of the world. So who is it?!

On the other hand, I am between two different worlds: Argentina and the USA. When I am in Argentina, I wanna be in America. When I'm in America, I wanna be in Argentina. When I am about to go back to the other place, I wanna stay. And when I still have a few months ahead in one of these countries, I wanna go back. So I did not want to wish for a place either, because I hate both, and I love both at the same time too.

At the end of the day, I should just wish to be happy, to accept life as it comes, to stop trying to look for the right guy, but wait for him to find me. To stop trying to go to different places and just enjoy one. To stop planning about the future if I've learned the lesson that nothing is like we plan it and to stop remembering the past if I know there is nothing I can do to change it or bring it back to my life. I should also realize that most of the time, those wishes that we make at 11:11 or at shooting stars, usually do not come true. It is a matter of fate, not a matter of chance. The thing is, I am ready for destiny to finally bring what I deserve. I am tired of waiting, I just want to find something that makes it all worth it. Something to look forward everyday. It doesn't matter if it is Morgan or Sam anymore. It doesn't matter if it is in Argentina or America or Europe. It doesn't matter if I am gonna end up being an actress, a director, or a freakin elementary teacher. Because no matter how it happens, I gotta believe that it is gonna be at the right time, at the right place, with the right person, and for the best reason. And maybe, just maybe, the right time is soon, the right place is Paris, the right person is Sam or Morgan or Morocho, and well... the reason is not hard to guess. Or maybe it is gonna happen in a thousand of years, with someone I don't even know yet, in the middle of Peru. But who cares. God always has a better plan, even better than the one we had for ourselves. And we gotta believe it is for the best reason.

So I'll stop making wishes. I will stop crying for the things that I do not have. And I will start smiling for the things I have right in front of me.

Well... at least I will try to do so.