Mona Lisa Smile

There are movies that entertain you, movies that make you laugh, movies that make you cry, movies that make you remember some memories, movies that you don't like... and there are some other movies that can change your perspective on certain things and can get to your soul, and those are the type of movies I like to write about.

This was a Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts weekend, so I watched "Love Actually", "Notting Hill", and "Mona Lisa Smile". All good movies, I sort of cried with the three of them, but the only one that really got me was the one I've just finished, "Mona Lisa Smile". I don't know if it can make it to my favorite movies, but it definitely makes it to one of the best movies I've ever seen, which is a completely different thing, I mean, the movie Crossroads, starring Britney Spears, is one of my favorite movies, but one of the worst Hollywood movies ever. The thing is, this movie really, really caught me.

If you haven't watched it, it takes place back in the 50's, the decade where stereotypes were created: men were meant to go to work every morning, and women were meant to take care of the house. A decade where the country was in fear of an atomic bomb being dropped by the Soviets. A decade of discrimination and racism. And sadly, a decade that was far away from revolution and change, two things that finally came in the 60's and later.

"Mona Lisa Smile" is about a woman, Katherine Watson, who gets a job at one of the best universities for women to teach "Art History" (something that I would like to do in some other life). She gets to teach to all of these girls who are brain washed by society, and are waiting for the first rich man to come and propose to them. Katherine comes with her feminist ideals and helps them to look at life with different eyes, letting them know how much they are worth it, encouraging them to be better, to pursue their dreams, to believe in themselves, to stop depending on a man, and to be independent. The movie is basically about how hard it is for them to understand this new perspective that Mrs. Watson is trying to show them. It is an amazing message that I wish women could have had back in the 50's.

"I thought I was headed to a place that would turn out tomorrow's leaders, not their wives!" - Katherine Watson 

But the idea of being independent is not shown only through the ideas of marriage and society. What I love the most about the movie was the respect that Katherine Watson has for her own self. At the end of the movie, the board of education of the school decides to call her back for the next school year, but they do not give her the freedom to give her message to her students, and the only way they are going to let her teach again in that school is by controlling her classes. Even though teaching in that school is her dream, she declines the offer, because she stays true to herself, to her beliefs, and to her biggest goal, which is to make a change. She gives up her dream for that simple goal, and she quits.

That reminded me of myself. I realized that right now, I am quitting my dream. I am on the right track that could lead me to everything I've ever wanted, but something tells me that there is something wrong with it. You know, someday I would like to get to the top, doesn't matter what I end up doing in college, whatever I decide, I want to be the best at it. Being in the USA means that I could go to a really good university, improve my English skills, improve my talent is certain things, meet the right people that could help me, and do the right things that could lead me to where I want to go. But there is something missing: freedom and happiness. I figured that I want nothing if I don't have the freedom to do whatever I want with it, and if I am not able to enjoy my way to the top, so I decided to quit my dream of being in the States, go back to the place where I know I'm going to have a good time, and take another way. At the end, my goal is the same one: be good at whatever I decide to do. I am just taking another road. It can be shorter or it can be longer, but I am taking the road that is not going to just take me where I want to go, but it is also going to make me happy, because happiness is not a destination, it is journey. Mrs Watson ended up going to Europe, not teaching where she wanted to teach, but at the end of the day, she did make a change anyway.

"Dear Betty, I came to Wellesley because I wanted to make a difference. But to change for others is to lie to yourself. My teacher, Katherine Watson, lived by her own definition and would not compromise that, not even for Wellesley. I dedicate this, my last editorial, to an extraordinary woman, who lived by example and compelled us all to see the world through new eyes. By the time you read this, she'll be sailing to Europe, where I know she'll find new walls to break down, and new ideas to replace them with. I've heard her called a quitter for leaving and aimless wanderer. But not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image. I'll never forget you" - Betty Warren

If you are wondering, the name of the movie "Mona Lisa Smile" is referred to looking happiness and smiling even when you are not happy at all. One of the characters, Betty, refers to this painting when she is talking to her mom about her husband, trying to let her know that just because she seems happy, deep inside, she's not, just like the Mona Lisa, who is smiling, but how do we know if she is really happy? How do we know she is not hiding any kind of sadness behind that smile?

Betty: Look at this, mother. She's smiling. Is she happy?
Mrs. Warren:The important thing is not to tell anyone.
Betty:She looks happy, so what does it matter? 

So that's it. This movie made me cry, smile, and learn a little bit more about myself and my decisions. And of course, it showed me once again, that women can do it all, the sky is the limit, and that education and experience can lead you wherever you want to go.

Red Carpet Season

So the red carpet season has officially begun, and it is my favorite time of the year. Actually, it is my favorite time of the year when I'm in Argentina because right now it is the summer there, which means my life is all about vacations, friends, warm weather, an of course, the awards. I get obsessed with the dresses, the interviews, the speeches, the winners, the faces of the losers, the inappropriate jokes, and of course, the talent. But the real reason why I love the red carpet season is not because I love Hollywood, it is because it reminds me of my dream. It reminds me why I want to be an actress and a director, it encourages me to keep fighting for it no matter what, and it makes me feel like I can do it. Throughout the rest of the year I kinda forget, and I start looking for other dreams to accomplish, but the Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, and the Academy Awards, remind me who I want to be, and where I want to be; that I love acting more than anything else. Many people watch these awards to see the dresses and the stuff I mentioned before, and I kinda do that too, I mean, Vera Wang, Dior, and Zac Posen are reason enough to spend two hours watching the red carpet, but for me that's nothing compared to the moment when the presenter says the name of the winner. I just can't explain it. I can sorta feel how they feel and I dream that one day, that's gonna be me. Winning one of those awards is definitely the biggest and greatest goal in my life and in fact, I'm already preparing my speech, I've been doing it for 10 years actually and I'll keep on preparing it for the rest of my life until the presenter says my name and I get to say it in front of these talented people. I don't know when or how it is going to happen, but I feel like if I still have the same dream after so many years and after all I have been through, then I can still fight for it and accomplish it.

I don't want to be in Hollywood to be famous, I want to be there to be talented. I don't wanna be the most beautiful actress, I just want to be the most respected one. I don't care about having millions of fans, I just want to be able to make people cry or laugh with my performances. I don't care about knowing every single celebrity, I just want to work with good directors and actors like Woody Allen or Martin Scorcece. My dream is not about being in Hollywood anymore, now it is really about acting and being good at it, and that can be seen in my decision of going back to Argentina. I live close to New York, I had the chance to go to auditions, but instead, I decided to wait. To wait and get better. To wait and see the world. To wait and grow up. To wait and go through different experiences. I am too young right now, and I want to know about life, about people, and about myself before I can portray different characters and pretend to be in different situations. And I think I made the right choice. Next time I come to NY, I'm going to be ready to go to the best acting school, and do all of the things that I need to do to get to the top.

But always remember... AIN'T ABOUT HOW FAST I GET THERE, AIN'T ABOUT WHAT'S WAITING ON THE OTHER SIDE. IT'S THE CLIMB. And that's the first thing that comes into my mind when I'm watching the awards and when I'm watching the winners giving their acceptance speech. I used to dream about making it to the top as a teenager, but now I realize that as much as I would love to be in Los Angeles right now partying with Clooney and Pitt, it is not the right time for me in every single aspect. So I want to do the right thing, go step by step, and enjoy every minute of my life without thinking too much about the future, and someday, without even realizing how I did it, I know I'll make it there.

Golden Globes 2012

Watching the Golden Globes <3  
Someday I know I'll be there.

Midnight In Paris

"I can never decide whether Paris is more beautiful by day or by night. No, you can't, you couldn't pick one. I mean I can give you a checkmate argument for each side. You know, I sometimes think, how is anyone ever gonna come up with a book, or a painting, or a symphony, or a sculpture that can compete with a great city. You can't. Because you look around and every street, every boulevard, is its own special art form and when you think that in the cold, violent, meaningless universe that Paris exists, these lights, I mean come on, there's nothing happening on Jupiter or Neptune, but from way out in space you can see these lights, the cafes, people drinking and singing. For all we know, Paris is the hottest spot in the universe"

What an amazing movie. It is about this guy, Gil (Owen Wilson), who discovers the magic of Paris after midnight. The movie revolves about him going back to the 20's and meeting inspirational people such as Hemingway and Fitzgerald and Picasso, but I think that the main focus of the story is the beauty of Paris. I can't describe how it makes you feel towards this city, I just fell in love with it. This is why I am not going to talk about the story line, but about the pearl of the world, which without a doubt, is the french capital.

There are a lot of beautiful cities in the world... I've been to some of them like NYC, LA, Madrid, Buenos Aires, Athens, etc, and then there are some other cities that are in my list of places to go before I die, like Rome, London, Berlin, Milan, Venice, and of course, Paris. For some reason, I feel an attraction to this place. Every time I see pictures, or videos, or movies about it I feel a strong connection, and I NEED to go there. Maybe everybody feels that way, just because it Paris and it is supposed to be beautiful and adorable and magic, but I can't stop dreaming about taking a flight there all by myself, stay at a cheap french apartment, wear a nice french dress, and just walk, like Gil does in this movie. Discover every single corner of this beautiful city; learn to draw just by looking at the beautiful details of every single bridge, building, house, and statue; take professional pictures of the Eiffel Tower; have a creme brulee at a small french cafe; listen to the beauty and grace of the french accent; stare at the amazing paintings of the Musée du Louvre for hours; write about each single thing I see and learn to come up with a book about french romance... and million of other things. Basically, I just want to literally WALK AROUND PARIS for hours, which is why it didn't take me long to feel interested about this movie, because I understand the passion of this character towards this city.

The good thing about myself, is that when I want something, I end up doing it, no matter how hard it is. I dreamed about Los Angeles and Hollywood, and life gave the chance to go. I dreamed about moving to the states, and I did it. And each place gave me something that I'll keep for the rest of my life. Like I am a big puzzle and each city of my places to go before I die is a new piece that completes my puzzle. And I think that Paris is next. I know it is not going to be soon because I have to be old enough to do all of the things that I want to do, and I might have to go though college first, but all I know is that someday I'll make it there, and I will discover a whole new part of myself that I didn't know I had. I want to go there and grow as an artist, just like I grew in New Jersey as a person. I wanna fall in love with the art of Paris, with its architecture, culture, history, details, music, food, language, everything.

The thing with the movie is as far as I know, Paris is not just magical at midnight... it is magical all day long. And I hope I will be able to see that for myself sometime in my life.

"There's a reason why you are not walking on the moon right now. And it is because you belong here"

"if you want something in life, reach out and grab it"

Proud To Take A Step Back

The end of the school year in Argentina arrived, which means I am technically not a junior anymore. In 4 months, I am going to walk through that door, knowing that it is the last first day of school ever.

Seeing pictures of the Seniors graduating and doing all of the cool things that they do in my school, make me stick to my decision of going back, and having the time of my life. Partying, enjoying life, having fun, making trouble, breaking out, being with my friends, and just being a teenager for the last year.

There are gonna be times where I am going to wonder why the hell I went back, but I'm sure that at the end, it is going to be worth it. My biggest fear about going back to Argentina is that I came to America to become true my dream of being an actress, and eventually, a director, and I feel that by going back and I making a step backwards. Like I am giving up those dreams for just a year with my friends.

But it is not just a year with my friends. It is also the memories. Memories that will stay with me forever. It is the year where I can let it all go. It is being a Senior. Enjoying school, because it will never happen again. It is going out to nightclubs every single weekend and getting completely drunk just for the hell of it. It is doing stupid things and laughing for no reason.

I need to understand that 2012 it is not the end of the world. It is just the end of a chapter in my life, and the beginning of a new one. I am dedicated to live my dreams next chapter, in the future, because there is still a lot of time ahead; I am just a kid. I need to learn how to wait, be patient, and enjoy what I have now. And life is giving me this chance of doing something that I will never regret, and that is now or never. I have my whole life to go to Europe, go to college, improve my knowledge in directing and producing, going to acting classes, moving to LA, etc etc etc. But all I have right now, is the last year of my youth. I always say I want to be forever young, but... it is stupid to say that if I never actually enjoyed being young because I always worried too much about the future, and planned to many things that never really happen.

So for the first time in my life, I am willing to dream with those normal things that are supposed to happen to teenagers. I am going to look forward to school, enjoy the annoying teachers, laugh with my friends, and just be 17 (my birthday is next March).

I am happy with the decision I made. I might be taking the easy way, I might be giving up, I might not be fighting with all I have, but I know that in the end, I am not going to regret it. And most important, why do I have to choose between my dreams and my Senior year when I can have both, one a time?

LIVE YOUR LIFE

PS: Sometimes you have to take a half step back to take two forward, just like people who run track take a few steps backwards in order to gain speed and then advance 1000 steps forward til they reach the finish line. 

Reality & Fantasies

You know when you dream too much and then you forget that it is not real, and then suddenly, you wake up and realize that your life is not nearly as fun or as interesting as your aspirations? Well, welcome to my life. I have a whole other world in my head, and I forget about the real one, and sometimes I look around and see how boring and sad my life is. I don't live in Paris or London, I am not a famous actress or a successful movie director, I don't go to NYU, I am not dating Niall Horan or Liam Payne... I am nothing. All I have is a small town in the sububrs of New Jersey. Nothing else.

I try to understand the reason of those dreams, of those fantasies, of those parallel worlds that we create in our heads.  But I don't know if it is about understanding the WHYs of those desires, or creating a line separating them from real life. Dreaming is good. Dreaming too much is not that good. When is it enough? When are we supposed to say "go live your life", and when are we supposed to say "go find your lifetime dream" ? They say that our mind is powerful, the more you think about it, the more chances you have for it to happen. Now my question is... how do we create a wall between these worlds and how do we distribute the time we spend in them even? How do we keep control of where we are, without getting lost in one different dimension? Our dreams and fantasies should be kept inside a wardrowe, like Narnia, and whenever we feel like escaping from our lives, we can go there, open the door, and enter the hidden world that nobody else can see, just a for a few minutes.

The problem with dreams and fantasies, is that, just like every other pleasure, they are additive. We see a little bit of something we want, and we want MORE. And more. And more. And out of nowhere, we forget where we are, we lose power of our own life. We get caught up in a fantasy. And when we wake up, we realize that we have nothing at all, we just have memories of moments that never happened. 

But no matter how much we try, we can't avoid having dreams. We can't avoid those fantasies. And of course, we can't avoid reality either. I don't admire the people that live for what they have and enjoy what fate gives them... I admire the people that is able to dream too much, live too much, and make those dreams happen at the same time.

The problem is... waking up from those dreams and getting up from that bed, is always... THE HARDEST PART. But what we tend to forget is how beautiful it feels to live those dreams in real life. There is nothing more beautiful than saying "it felt so real".

"Surgeons usually fantasize about wild, and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant, we slice them open with a butter knife, replace a valve with a hollowed-out stick of carrot. But every now and then, some other kind of fantasy slips in…

Most of our fantasies dissolve when we wake, banished to the back of our minds, but sometimes, we’re sure if we try hard enough, we can live the dream.

The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good. And twice as much pleasure is better… That pain is bad, and no pain is better…

But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something. And there’s only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe, some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams" - Meredith Grey

Letter To Young Film Maker

11/1/11

How can I get what I want, if I don't really know what I want?

So today it was 11/1/11 so I wanted to make a wish at 11:11 and when I thought about it, I realized that I don't know what I want.

First of all, girls usually like one boy and they are in love with him. I always say how much I like my boys, but there are 4 of them. I am not supposed to like 4 boys. I am supposed to stick to one. I wish Morgan was single, I wish Sam talked to me, I wish Mason lived closer, and I wish I could see Morocho again. I just cannot stop thinking about them, but at the same time, if I really liked one of them, I would not be crushing over the other ones right? Deep inside I know I want only one. Maybe I am scared to admit that I am still waiting for Morocho, and I know he is never going to come. Or maybe I know Sam will never talk to me, which is why I don't admit he is the one I really want. Or maybe it is Morgan, who is dating someone else. Or maybe it is Mason, but I don't wanna like someone on the other side of the world. So who is it?!

On the other hand, I am between two different worlds: Argentina and the USA. When I am in Argentina, I wanna be in America. When I'm in America, I wanna be in Argentina. When I am about to go back to the other place, I wanna stay. And when I still have a few months ahead in one of these countries, I wanna go back. So I did not want to wish for a place either, because I hate both, and I love both at the same time too.

At the end of the day, I should just wish to be happy, to accept life as it comes, to stop trying to look for the right guy, but wait for him to find me. To stop trying to go to different places and just enjoy one. To stop planning about the future if I've learned the lesson that nothing is like we plan it and to stop remembering the past if I know there is nothing I can do to change it or bring it back to my life. I should also realize that most of the time, those wishes that we make at 11:11 or at shooting stars, usually do not come true. It is a matter of fate, not a matter of chance. The thing is, I am ready for destiny to finally bring what I deserve. I am tired of waiting, I just want to find something that makes it all worth it. Something to look forward everyday. It doesn't matter if it is Morgan or Sam anymore. It doesn't matter if it is in Argentina or America or Europe. It doesn't matter if I am gonna end up being an actress, a director, or a freakin elementary teacher. Because no matter how it happens, I gotta believe that it is gonna be at the right time, at the right place, with the right person, and for the best reason. And maybe, just maybe, the right time is soon, the right place is Paris, the right person is Sam or Morgan or Morocho, and well... the reason is not hard to guess. Or maybe it is gonna happen in a thousand of years, with someone I don't even know yet, in the middle of Peru. But who cares. God always has a better plan, even better than the one we had for ourselves. And we gotta believe it is for the best reason.

So I'll stop making wishes. I will stop crying for the things that I do not have. And I will start smiling for the things I have right in front of me.

Well... at least I will try to do so.

Una de las partes más dificiles de la vida es decidir si alejarte o intentar un poquito más.

I know I'll see you soon dear Eiffel Tower. Someday.

EUROPE 2012 ?!?!

OMG ! So last night I posted about how much I want to go to Europe, and much I love it, and stuff. And guess what! Today, my grandfather (who took to California) said that he wants me to go to Germany with him to visit my uncle and my cousin next year!!!!!!!!

This is how it all started with Los Angeles, by a suggestion of my grandpa, and then, on May 2nd, I was walking in Hollywood Blvd. Now he is inviting me to Germany! To Europe!

Well, I hope this dream also comes true.

Europe

Last night I watched Monte Carlo, starring Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester, and Katie Cassidy. The be honest it is not a good movie, I mean, it is an exact copy of Lizzie McGuire The Movie, the only original thing is that they all have a story. But that's not the point.

Watching the movie reminded me how much I wanna go to Europe, travel around cities, meet a French guy and go somewhere with a view of the Eiffel Tower, have a coffee with pie in a French Cafe, go to the Coliseum and have pizza and ride a scooter, walk under the rain in London in front of the Big Ben, walk around Cannes, go around Venice in a "gondola", drink beer in Munich, go to the cathedral in Barcelona and to the palace in Madrid, go to the south of France and walk in those beautiful beaches, get tan in Greece, eat pasta in Rome or Florence, go to Verona to see the story of Romeo & Juliet, go to see the Mona Lisa, go shopping in Paris or Milan, ride a bike in Monte-Carlo, go to the beautiful buildings of Austria, go to see the story of the vikings in Denmark, go to the Virgin Mary's house in Turkey, etc, etc etc. I wanna go there for a long time and have the time of my life. Do all of the things I wanna do. Be old enough to go wild. I wanna walk in those European streets and feel the history, the art, the culture, the traditions, and the architecture. I wanna go to every single place of that continent and learn about it. I wanna meet people, make friends, fall in love. I wanna eat their foods. I wanna put my feet in the beautiful Mediterranean Sea.

Europe is calling me. I feel like there is an adventure waiting for me over there. And even though I have no idea when it is gonna happen, I just know someday, somehow, my dream is going to come true, just like it came true with Los Angeles.