Younger Boys

For some reason I have always liked guys of my age or even younger. I was never really attracted to older boys for some reason. Jake is almost 2 years older, but he's only one grade higher in school so it's almost the same.

I did think a guy was hot a couple years ago, but he ended up with my friend, which is fine cuz she also thought he was hot, and I never liked him again, we are buddies now and its the coolest thing, because now I'm starting to fancy one of his friends who is sooooooooo hot in a young way (? I mean, he is obviously younger than me, but he is just... I don't know.

It's not that I LIKE him, I just feel attracted to him, two different things. He's gonna be called Robert. K bye.

UPDATE  FEBRUARY 25TH: I MADE OUT WITH HIM!!!!!!!

Cody 2.0 & JT

In a matter of 3 or 4 days I've found two more guys to add to my list to impossible crushes and loves of my life.

One of them happens to be called Cody. He is blond. He is hot. And I found him outside school talking to his friends, right in front of my bus. The first time I saw him I was like OMG. The second time I saw him, I was like O M F G . Yes, he is hot. I came back home, did some research on Facebook, and found out his name. When I went to his profile, I saw that the first 15 pictures were of him making out with a girl. Apparently he is dating someone, they have been dating for a year or something. Whatever. He is still hot.

The second one is a new guy in my math class called TJ. This is actually kinda funny. First of all, he sits two rows next to mine, a sit behind mine. You can tell when someone is looking at you, and I could tell he was looking at me, so I was like "uhmm who is this guy". Today I actually walked the same way he was walking after class, and he knew I was behind him, and he seriously turned around like three time to see him. Of course I pretended not to realize I knew he looked at me, but he did. He is kinda cute. I mean, he is not the the hottest guy on earth, but he is cute. The only thing I knew about him was that his last name started with Z, because he sits behind my friend whose last name starts with Z. So I went to my friend's Facebook and tried to look for everybody with a last name starting with Z. Couldn't find it. Went to somebody else's Facebook, and could not find it. So I decided to look at the 1200 friends he had, I mean, go one by one and only click on the ones whose last names started with Z. Couldn't find it. The more difficult it was getting, the more I wanted to find him. So then I went to someone who has less friends, like 700. And YAY, I found him. He didn't have a lot of pictures, at least the ones he allowed non-friends to see. But at least I know his name now.

Yeah, well... that's pretty much it about these two new guys. The first one is like married, and the second one... WHO KNOWS. My math class is starting to get interesting with some guys in there. Let's try to make these two months interesting....

American Boys

Alright. So this is it. I am sick of this. Last week was this Mike whatever who kept texting me constantly. Now this new guy, who started talking to me as randomly as Mike, said that I am pretty and that he wants to get to know me. I mean, first of all, you don't say that to a stranger if you don't wanna creep the hell out of them; start being friendly first. And never ever say to some random girl that she is pretty and that you wanna get to know her (or at least do it in a super original way, without using the words "i wanna get to know you", that is just retarded). What you gotta do is talk to her, be friendly, flirt a little bit, but do not be that direct because that is just not natural. I know that's the way American guys work, but I am from another country where we do things differently, and this whole technique of telling a girl she is pretty out of nowhere is annoying me. Specially because it always happens with guys I don't like, and I would never ever like. Step by step boys, STEP BY STEP.

Guys should flirt with girls in a classy way, not trashy. And trashy is when they jump straight to the pool without even knowing if there's water in it. I mean, if you tell a girl without even knowing her that she is pretty and that you wanna get to know her, you have a small chance that she probably wants to do the same thing, but most of the time they are not going to be as interested as you, and by doing that creepy move, you are just making them feel waaaay less interested. You gotta know them first, without letting them know that you are trying to get to know them. You gotta do it naturally. You gotta be spontaneous, unexpected, funny, a little bit charming, and friendly. After that, you can tell the girl you like her, but do not give her your number when she hasn't asked for it, specially if she doesn't even seem to want your number.

So guys, let's try to make this a better world in terms of flirting and teen relationships. If you didn't really get my point, you should go to Europe or Argentina, where boys really know what they are doing, and know how to get a girl. Other wise, do not complain when girls say they want a British, Italian, or Aussie boyfriend.

But, I also gotta admit that sometimes, America guys can be the sweetest, cutest, and can maintain a real relationship for the longest time. And of course, American guys... ARE REALLY HOT. Right Morgan? Right Sam? Right hot-kid-that-I-saw-today-but-I-don't-know-your-name-yet? Right Kevin? Right Cody? Right dear seniors?

Out Of My Head

Like I said on my previous post, I saw Morgan today and I remembered how I used to feel about him. And I realized that Sam will never be what Morgan was for me. He will never mean that much. In fact, he was out of school yesterday and today, and I felt happy he was not there. I felt relieved. I felt like I did not have to pay attention to anyone. I felt free.

He is hot. He is adorable. He has the perfect personality. He is perfect. But... it is not meant to be. I feel like what I like about him is more superficial rather than sentimental or emotional, and I realized that the reason why I started liking him (after saying multiple times in the past that he was ugly), is because I also always said that he kinda looked like Morgan. And since Morgan is not in my classes anymore, and Sam is in my math class, I instantly took him as a replacement.

But today I saw Morgan, and I also realized how it feels not to have Sam around, and yeah... Sam is HOT, but something tells me it is not meant to be, it is not worth it, and it is a waste of time. Actually, there is always something in my head telling me that nothing is going to happen, but sometimes, like in Morgan or Mason's case, there is also something else that tells me that even though there are no chances with them, it is worth the wait and the try. This time, I just feel like it is useless. Like I said, it is a replacement. And replacements are never as good as the original copies.

So as Morgan comes back, I'm sorry to tell ya Sam, but you are out.

Back In My Head

With all of the new guys I met this year, I forgot about Morgan. But it only takes one simple look to realize that I miss him, and another look to see him holding hands with his girlfriend and realize how much I like him. And when I say that I miss him, I don't literally miss him, because we barely talked. I just miss those chemistry classes, where even though if I knew nothing was going to happen, at least I had hope. I could look at him, and have him RIGHT THERE. Now fate took us apart, and we have no classes together, but I see him all the times in the hallways. I try not to pay attention when he comes by, but sometimes I just can't. And today, I had him right in front of me for a while when we were walking in the hallways, and I realized that there is nothing I can do to forget him, and nothing I can do to have him either, because he doesn't just have a girlfriend: he really, really likes her.

It also hurts because I am leaving in two months, and probably nothing is going to happen. I had faith that for once in my life, the ONE that I really wanted was going to at least friend me on Facebook. And I had faith that God was at least going to give me the chance to have something with Morgan, after all of the things that I've been through in the past year. But as usual... things did not go the way I planned them. And now I'm going to go back to Argentina, never talk to Morgan again, never see him again, and just forget I've ever felt something for him.

And you know what hurts the most? Knowing that at some point, I did have a chance with him, and I just didn't know it. There was a day, somewhere in November of 2010, where he was right in front of me, giving me the chance to do something, and I don't even wanna remember what I did because it literally makes me wanna commit suicide.

My options are forcing myself to let him go, wait and cry until he breaks up with his girlfriend (which is probably not going to happen in the next two months), or just embrace the fact that whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly. Like my favorite quotes says: "If you really need him, fate will bring him back. It might no be soon, but he'll be back"